Discover the Power of Change

Self-Harm

Working Gently With Difficult Feelings

Self-Harm Counselling in Surrey

If you self harm and want support, I offer counselling in Surrey that can help. You may slao be looking for support for someone you care about. You may have mixed feelings about stopping self-harm, or wonder whether change is even possible.

If you want help to understand overwhelming emotions or begin reducing or stopping self-harm, I’m an integrative psychotherapist in Ottershaw with experience in this area.

Everyone is different. I work with each person at a pace that feels manageable, helping explore what lies behind the need to self-harm.

What to Watch For

Symptoms of Self-Harm

Self-harm is increasingly understood as a way of coping with difficult, painful or confusing emotions. It’s different from suicidal feelings although both can exist at the same time. It is not helpful to see it as attention-seeking, but it can affect how a person sees themselves and how others respond to them.

Self-harm injuries are often inflicted on parts of the body that can be hidden – like the arms, legs or stomach – so family and friends may not be aware. You miight avoid showing skin, skip activities like swimming, or cover up on hot days.

You might find counselling helpful if any of the following feel familiar:

Intense emotions that lead to urges to harm yourself

Confusing thoughts where you only feel real after harming yourself

Feeling shame or distress about marks on your body

Feeling temporary relief after self-harming

Getting help for self-harm

Many people find that counselling is one of the most helpful ways to understand and change self-harming. It gives you a safe space to explore what’s behind the urge to hurt yourself. I offer counselling in a confidential, non-judgemental space – different from the support of family or friends, who may understandably feel affected by what you’re going through.

Start Your Journey

Do You Need Help?

Can Self-Harm Counselling Help?

Yes, it can

Self-harm is often a way of coping with distress. It may be used to express feelings that are hard to put into words, to escape from daily life, or to release emotional pain. It might bring relief in the moment, but painful feelings often return – and with them, the urge to harm yourself.

Self-harm is sometimes linked to to trauma. It may be a way of coping with painful memories, flashbacks, past abuse, or difficult feelings about your body.

Counselling can help you develop new ways of coping, while exploring what’s beneath the urge to hurt yourself.

If you are looking for a safe, confidential space to explore these patterns at your own pace, feel free to look through my website to see how I work and whether I might be a good fit for you.

You’re also welcome to contact me by phone on 01932 702663 or email me confidentially at Kevin@kevinrymill.co.uk.

My practice is based in Ottershaw, Surrey, close to Addlestone, Chertsey, Woking and Weybridge, with good links to the M25 and A3.

And remember, the first 15 minutes of your initial consultation are free, with no pressure to continue. It gives you time to decide whether counselling feels right for you.

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How Can I Help You?

If You Don’t Feel Ready to Call Yet

Self-harm can be a way of expressing or coping with deep distress. As difficult as it may be to explain to others, hurting yourself can bring short-term relief. Sometimes it can feel like there’s no other option. It may be the only way you know to manage feelings like sadness, emptiness, guilt or anger.

There are different ways to distract yourself, depending on what emotion is behind the urge to self-harm. For example, if you’re feeling low or overwhelmed, doing something – like reading or taking a bath – might help. If you feel the need to experience pain, there are safer options that don’t cause lasting harm – such as holding ice or eating something very spicy.

Physical activity can help by releasing tension and increasing endorphins. Creative outlets like playing music or singing can also be useful.

Even delaying self-harm by five minutes and doing something else can help shift the intensity of the urge.

These strategies can be helpful on their own, but they’re often more effective when used alongside therapy to address the deeper reasons behind self-harm. The key is often learning how to recognise and cope with difficult feelings in new ways.

More Tips For Managing Self-Harm

Ways to Release Anger or Tension

Run, dance or do something phyisical to release energy.
Hit a cushion or scream into a pillow.
Squueeze a sress ball or squish something like clay or dough.
Tear up paper or an old magazine.
Make noise by playing an instrument or banging on something safe.

Ways to Express Intense Emotions

Paint, draw, or scribble using bold colours.
Keep a diary to express how you feel.
Write a poem or song to put feelings into words.
Write down difficult thoughts and tear and the paper up.
Listen to music that reflects what you’re feeling.

When You Feel Numb or Disconnected

Call someone you trust.
Take a shower and change the temperature now and then.
Hold an ice cube in your hand or against your skin.
Chew something with a very strong taste, like a mint, chilli or lemon peel.
Visit a support forum or read others positive experiences online.

When You Need Comfort or Soothing

Take a warm bath or hot shower.
Cuddle a pet if you have one.
Wrap yourself in a warm blanket.
Gently massage your hands, feet or neck.
Listen to music that helps you feel calm.

If You Need to Replicate the Sensation Safely

Use a red felt-tip pen to draw where you might usually harm.
Rub ice across your skin to create a sansation without injury.
Snap a rubber band on your wrist or arm as a safer alternative.

And remember – even intense feelings pass. You won’t always feel like hurting yourself, even if it seems that way now. Just getting through the moment can be a poweful first step.

You wouldn’t treat someone else the way you treat yourself. You deserve the same care.